Poetry: Tight

It's funny how my mind works sometime.

I was working on my Camp NaNoWriMo novel and I wondered where the title: WOLF AT THE DOOR came from. 

I do that sometimes, I like to read underlying meanings in my own writings and lo and behold, I actually found something amusing.

The title was actually a line from one of my poems....and even more awesome, the sentiment of the poem could be taken as the voice of Lei's mother, Mey.

Here's the poem:

There are wolves at the door dear heart, wolves at the door 

Close the door, close the door. Tight.

There are shadows in the light, dear heart, shadows in the light. 

Close the window, close the window. Tight. 

There are monsters under the bed, dear heart, monsters under the bed. 

Close your eyes, close your eyes. Tight. 

There are tricksters in the world, dear heart, tricksters in the world 

Close your heart, close your heart. Tight.

 Copyright © 2012 by D.F. Jules

3

A/N: Be warned. All chapters are NOT proof read.

Sierra took one look at her face and snicker, “You got caught sneaking in by your mom, didn’t you? I told you, mothers know everything.”

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded. “It’s like their super power.”

“Stop, I do not want to talk about my mom, right now.”

“Okay.” Sierra’s blond head bobbed in tune with Natasha’s brunette one. It’s scary the way they did that, but both of them have been friends since they were practically in the womb—both of their mothers are also best friends—and being friends for so long they had picked up habits from each other, and finished each other’s sentences. It was kind of freaky really.

Lei joined them on the bench and scowled at the grass stains on her shoes. “It’s not like she hasn’t got time to get used to it. I mean, we’ve been going camping for years. I have no idea why she’s making it such a big deal now.” 

“Probably because you’re all grown up, dear.” Natasha said while fixing the barrette on her shoulder-length hair. 

“What does that mean?”

“That you’re a high school girl going out camping with three high school boys. One has to wonder what you guys are doing out there.” Sierra pitched in with a wicked grin. She laughed and lifted her hands in a pacifying gesture before Lei could blow up at her. “Not that we’ve ever wondered. We know what’s what ,but other people? People who don’t really know how you guys are with each other?” She shrugged. “We’ve all grown up camping or hiking or sailing or fishing, there’s nothing else to do around here. I go hiking with my family but even I quit ever since I started high school.”

Natasha scoffed. “You mean, after you’ve grown boobs and boys start paying attention to you?” 

“Yes, exactly.” Sierra admitted without shame.

“I like the woods. And I like their company. And I don’t care what other people think. They could think we do ritual sacrifices and orgies for all I care. I’m not stopping just because other people can’t seem to mind their own business.”

Natasha patted her shoulder. “Good for you, sweetie.”

Sierra sipped on her thermos of tea before sliding Lei a look. “So, no orgies?”

Lei rolled her eyes but grinned. “No orgies.”

“But what do you guys do?”

She shrugged and picked out a slice of apple from the container on Natasha’s lap. “We talk, tell scary stories, and roast marshmallows. We hang out.”

“But that’s what you always do and you can do it here. You don’t need to hang out in the woods.”

“I like the woods. We like the woods.”

“It’s scary and there are bears and wolves.”

Lei sucked on her apple slice. “No, really?”

“Yeah, my brother saw one a couple of weeks ago. Said it was huge.” Sierra’s eyes went wide and her arms gestured wildly.

“The bear or the wolf?” 

“Both.”

“Tell me, did he see a little boy with them, possibly a panther and an orang utan?”

Sierra scrunched up her eyebrows. “What—there’s no way—“ 

Natasha grinned. “Did they dance and sing songs?”

It took a few seconds but Sierra finally got the Jungle Book joke. “Oh, ha. Ha. Very funny. I’m being serious, guys.”

“I know and I love you for caring, but you don’t have to worry, we always stay close to the camping trails and we know all about the dangerous critters and what to do if we meet one. Besides, can you see any bear winning against Channing?” Lei pointed and watched as her two friends found Channing’s wide shoulders across the quad. 

“It's possible that Channing can win against a bear.” Natasha conceded.

“Is it just me or is Channing growing even bigger since I saw him last week?” 

Lei ate the last of the apple slice. “I could never tell with Channing.”

Both girls made thinking noises as they watch her three boys.

“So, tell me again how it’s possible that you’re always around three of the hottest guys in school—“

Sierra cut Natasha off. “In town.”

“—and are still just friends with them?”

Lei groaned. “Really? This again?”

“It just boggles the brain, is all. I mean look at them.”

“Seriously, Lei. Look at them.” Sierra poked her in the stomach.

“I’m looking, I’m looking. Sheesh.” Lei rolled her eyes and stifled a yawn. “What am I looking here?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the rippling muscles, the mane of glory, the rock-hard abs?”

“The sexy smile, the come hither eyes, those hands—“

“That butt.”

“That—“

“Please, stop. I just ate.” Lei couldn’t help but laugh at the affronted look on their faces. “Besides, if you guys like them that much, why don’t you ask them out?”

Natasha grimaced. “I don’t know. They’re kind of—“

“Intense. And they’re very—“

“Exclusive.”

Lei scoffed. “No, they’re not.”

“Lei, have you ever seen them with people that are not in their inner circle? They’re a fairly close-knit group, you know?”

Natasha pursed her lips in thought. “They are very particular about who they’re friends with.”

“Are you calling them snobs?”

“I don’t mean it that way. They’re perfectly nice, especially to us since we’re friends with you, it’s just that I don’t think they’ve ever made a new friend. They’ve always hung out with the same kids, you know?”

Lei did know, as she also knew the reason for it; those kids were werewolves, those kids were pack. In the 240 students studying in Greenlane High School, 27 of them are pack kids and they stay close together as a sub-pack should. 

Lei took a sip out of Sierra’s coffee. “Their families have been friends since forever so it’s only natural that they hang out together, like you guys.”

Sierra and Natasha did a ‘that’s possible’ shrug and moved on to more interesting matters; gossip.

Lei kept her ears on them and her eyes on the crowd across from them. She caught Channing’s eyes who grinned and started miming much to her amusement. It took her a while but she finally guessed what he was trying to show her; of himself wrestling a bear. She scowled and tapped her ear; they had talks about them listening into her conversations. 

Channing shook his head and pointed to Colin who put on his innocent face; batting his ridiculous long lashes at her. 

Lei crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. 

Colin finally managed to look contrite before scratching his tummy; the motion lifted his T-shirt to show off his so called rock hard abs. The grin on both Colin and Channing’s face told her that they had been listening to everything she and her friends were talking about, but before she could figure out how to sign her displeasure, Kai had reached out his arms and hit his two brothers’ behind the head with the flat of his hands. And it was no love tap either.

The sub-pack snickered as Colin and Channing rubbed their heads. Lei grinned and blew a kiss to Kai who winked back at her.

She looked back to her friends only to see them watching her. “What?”

“Seriously, just friends?”

Lei groaned. 

“At the very least, with Kai.”

Lei groaned again. 

“I mean, it just doesn’t make any sense. It’s not natural.” Sierra shook her head and took a final gulp of her coffee. 

Lei repressed the urge to say, ‘no, it’s Supernatural’. “We’re just friends, guys. I know, it’s a shock for both of you but boys and girls can be friends. Deal with it.”

“But speaking of Kai—“

“No, no. No more questions.”

“Is he a monk or something? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him on a date, or with a girl unless it’s you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him…you know.”

“Maybe he’s gay.” Lei quipped quickly.

“He’s gay?” They repeated with a good dose of shock, dismay and disappointment thrown in for good measure. 

And since she saw both Channing and Colin started laughing like crazy, she quickly backtracked before they told Kai what she said. “No, of course not. He’s just very private, that’s all.” And he only dates werewolves.

Sierra pursed her mouth. “I guess that’s admirable.”

“Is keeping secrets a habit with you guys, I mean, it took, what, four months for you to tell us you’re not a virgin anymore?”

Lei didn’t look at the werewolf table, not even when the sound of a resounding crash echoed in the quad and drew everyone’s attention. She was too busy gathering up her things and ushering her protesting friends into the school.

The school bell rung. 

Lei grimaced at the thought of the classes she would have with Kai for today. It wasn’t like she intended to keep it a secret forever; she just thought that it was none of their business. Not that they would ever see it that way. To the werewolves, to the pack, everyone’s business is everyone’s business. And it’s not like she was ashamed of it, instead, she kind of cherished her first time, it was sweet and romantic... in between the pain and embarrassment. But she had chosen well for her first time. Nathan was respectful, fun, experienced and gentle and they were friends which made the experience even more special. 

Every summer, Lei and her mom spent time in Newport with Mey's old friend, Meine. Nathan was the boy next door that befriended her. He was athletic, energetic, loud and flamboyant. His motto was “go big or go home’ and that spilled over all aspects of his life. Blond, green eyed with golden skin, he was everything her boys were not. It was… refreshing. 

They spent their days with his friends, spending hours sailing; enjoying the smooth motion of the sea and the stinging of the salt air against their skin.

Yeah, her first time would always be special as Nathan would always be special to her…which was why she didn’t want her boys to ruin it for her. Not that they would, but, boys were often weird about sex, especially when a girl that they cared about was involved. 

And she’d rather like Nathan just the way he was. With his head on his shoulders…and alive.

Lei nodded to herself, yeah, I’m going to them that it’s none of their business and they’d just have to deal with it.

Copyright © 2012 by D.F. Jules

Go to Chapter 4

2

Nothing wipes off a smile from one’s face faster than the hostile glare of a mother. Kai and his brothers might be the most dangerous predators around, but in front of Lei’s mother, Mey Wong, they were puppies. Even the unrepentant Colin who was their school's champion prankster wilted in front of her dark stare. It wasn’t that they were afraid of her or that she’s particularly scary, she just has a way about her that made a person feel small. 

Teachers have a way of doing that. 

Not they ever spent time in her classroom, she teaches primary school, but Mey worked the “I know that you’re up to something, young man” vibe like a pro. 

“Mom.” Lei greeted her, him and his brothers forming a silent, polite wall behind her at the back door that opened to the kitchen. The scent of eggs and buttered bread filled up the air. “You’re still here.” From the guilty note in her voice, Kai could tell that Mey made her daughter feel the same way. Like she had done something wrong. Which she hadn’t. Much.

“I start late today.” Mey’s dark eyes scrutinized her daughter from head to toe and it didn’t matter that he knew that Lei looked fine, healthy and none the worse for her night in the woods, they always made sure of that, but none of that mattered. Lei could have a hang nail and her mother would probably blame it on them. The wolf inside him admired the ferocity in which Mey protected her daughter, but even it knew that being overprotective was one of the reasons why Lei took it to her heart to subtly defy her mother at every turn. And he couldn’t blame her. 

On cue, he and his brothers did their usual shuffle feet and mumble greeting, “Morning, Mrs. Wong.”

And she answered them like she always did; a raised eyebrow, a jerky nod and a firm, “Boys.”

After a full minute of staring, Mey finally stepped back, taking her seat at the kitchen island where, judging from the half-eaten breakfast and opened newspaper, she was having breakfast…and waiting for her daughter. She picked up her cup of coffee and sat down. “You boys should hurry home and get ready for school.”

The message was clear. 

Red streaked Lei’s face and temper sparked her eyes but before she could open her mouth and say something that she would regret, Kai tapped his foot against her ankle. She shut her mouth with a click. 

“We just came from our house, Mrs. Wong. We’re just here to wait for Lei.”

Mey passed a sharp look to Lei who stared back, mother and daughter exchanging a silent communication with each other; a clash of will.

Gritting her teeth, Lei turned to the boys with a bright smile, “I won’t be long. Why don’t you guys wait in the car?”

Kai dug his elbow into Colin’s side when the older boy couldn’t help but snicker at Lei’s obvious plot to get on her mother’s nerves. “Sure. Take your time.”

All three boys did the shuffle again and mumble ‘bye, Mrs. Wong’ before heading back to the all terrain car they shared, not even waiting for a reply from her. 

“Man, I think I got frostbite.” Colin shuddered as he slipped into the passenger side. 

Channing took his place behind the wheel. “Well, we did keep her daughter out all night. Most parents would never let us do that.”

“It’s not like we’re taking her out for a night of sex and drugs. We’re out camping for God sakes.” Colin sulked into his chair, his face wrinkled into a frown. To his and Channing's amusement, Mey’s obvious disapproval of them always bothered Colin more, which was a surprise since he usually never cared about what other people think about him. It was probably because Mey was Lei’s mother and the fact that he considered it to be unfair for Mey to dislike them when they have been nothing but kind and respectful. Colin usually earned any disapproval he received from people, and he was quite proud of it too.

“Yeah.” Kai agreed, a dry tone in his voice. “All we did was take her daughter to an isolated location in the woods then turn into dangerous monsters with teeth and claws the size of steak knives. No big.”

Colin snorted. “It's not like she knows.”

Kai rubbed his hand against his nape, rolling his shoulders and cracked his neck. His skin always felt hypersensitive after a Change. “She doesn't like Lei going to the woods, you know she has her reasons.”

“Because you took a chunk out of her baby girl not so long ago?”

Kai felt his wolf pressing to the surface as guilt and anger roiled inside him but he shoved it down and swallowed bile. “Yeah, like that.”

Colin’s face turned dark in embarrassment, especially when his twin punched him in the shoulder, hard. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”

Kai nodded, he knew that although Colin has a tendency to shoot his mouth off, he was never cruel. And he wasn’t exactly wrong but the words still stung. 

He remembered the look on Lei’s face when he found her walking in the snow, her smaller than average nine year old body seemed to be taken over by the length of her wavy black hair, her cheeks—still plump with baby fat—was pink by the chilled air. Her dark eyes were bright against the blood red of her coat. She had looked at him—at his wolf—in wonder. Like she had somehow found an unexpected treasure, and not a newly changed wolf, drunk and wild on his First Change. 

The smile turned into fear soon enough. 

He could still taste the sharpness of her blood in his mouth, against his tongue when his teeth sliced the flesh of her left arm. He could still hear the piercing scream, ripped from her throat as he dragged her across the snow, dislocating her shoulder. Drops of blood turned into a dark pool, staining the snow around them like fast blooming flowers. 

Kai rubbed a hand on his left side, a scar left by Lei pushing a sharp stick through his skin, spilling enough of his blood to mingle with hers in the snow. The pain was awful enough to jolt his mind that had gone completely wolf and back to his nine year old self, enough to make him realize what he had done.

He remembered looking into her pain glazed eyes, recognizing the girl who often played by herself in the corner, crayons in her hands. The girl who liked to look at them with big curious eyes. 

Deep in thought as he was, Kai wasn’t surprised when Lei opened the door--he heard her footsteps rushing from inside the house--and tried to climb up into the car. He couldn't help but smile as she gamely scrabbled in and slammed the door. 

“Maybe we’ll get a special stoop for you to climb in, Lei.” Colin joked. “Customized for your dainty feet.”

“Bite me.”

“Careful now. You know I will.” 

Lei kicked her dainty feet at the back of Colin’s chair then reached to pull at his hair and started a slap fight.

“Children.” Channing chided. “Don’t make me pull over.”

Both Lei and Colin made mocking scared noises that made Channing grin. “You both are bad influences on each other.”

Lei spent a couple of minutes bickering with Colin before sitting back, her eyes on him. “You’re quiet.”

Kai slid his eyes to her. “I’m always quiet.”

“True.” She kept looking at him but he kept his mouth shut; her stare was a pulsing heat on his skin. Then she shrugged, returning to mock fight with Colin and Channing, but her left hand, the one she had placed on his leg to keep her balance as she slid forward, stayed. If she was someone else, he would’ve misinterpreted the gesture, but he knew it for what it was; she was petting him. As she would if he was in his wolf form, trying to comfort him. 

And Kai couldn’t help but relax into his seat at her touch, even as the sun glanced off the shiny scars on her arm, the perfect imprint of his teeth. 

****

“There’s Sierra and Natasha.” Lei pointed out her two best friends and though it was clear that she was eager to join them, she waited for them to give her the okay before she opened the door. She wasn’t asking for permission to go out and play, no, she was waiting for them to get their super senses out of the way. When every single sigh sounded like a scream to your sensitive ears, you need to take a minute to manage things. The trick was to shift your focus and concentrate on something trivial and bland, like the slow tick tick of a clock, or the drip from the loose faucet in the boys bathroom, or the sound of the steady breathing of the person next to you.

When Kai nodded, Lei opened the door and wiggled out of the seat before jumping out. 

“Use us and leave us, why don't you?” Colin yelled at her back. She turned slightly to laugh at them and waved before joining her friends. 

Right on schedule, his wolf scratched the inside of his skin, uneasy with her leaving but he ruthless squelched it down.

“You okay?” Channing asked him, walking on his right as his twin took Kai’s left side. He figured it as appropriate because Channing had always been the angel by his side by Colin was the devil on his shoulder. 

“I’m fine. Why?”

Channing’s eyes looked at his face before shaking his head. “You got to deal with that, man, she wouldn’t appreciate you hovering over her.”

“Do you see me hovering?”

“No, but your wolf is too close to the surface.”

Kai gave him a look. “It always is.”

“Exactly.” Colin added with an oblique look. 

“Leave it alone, guys.”

Colin shrugged. “Just sayin’.”

Copyright © 2012 by D.F. Jules

go to Chapter 3: Cry Wolf

1

For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.

Law of the Jungle - Rudyard Kipling

Lei narrowed her eyes on the chemistry formula that she was supposed to memorize by tonight but the pictures blurred together. She could already almost see the sneer on her chemistry teacher’s face. When a gust of wind made the bonfire in front of her dance, creating shadows against the tall, dense line of trees, she shuddered inside her favorite red coat and fixed her hood over her head. 

The woods went silent around her and she stared into the dark; experience telling her that something was out there. Something big with sharp teeth. 

She scowled, “If I get an F on this test, I blame you.”

Her ears caught a snort and a snuffle; the sound of something heavy, breathing from her left. From her eyes she caught the glint of amber eyes and the white mist of breath.

Spending a night deep in the woods wasn't Lei’s idea of fun, as was doing her homework by firelight. The same goes with sitting on a stretch of tarp, freezing her butt off. She was good outdoors and knew how to survive in the woods if she had to, and she knew this stretch of land like the back of her hand. But still, it wasn’t her idea of fun. Not really. 

But that’s what you do when your best friends are werewolves.

She heard the sound of bones snapping; small sounds of pain erupting behind her and winced. It’s been eight years since she found out what her boys were but she still couldn’t get use to those sounds. She put down the book on her lap and picked up the marshmallow she was roasting. 

Food always made her feel better.

She heard the sound of footsteps and knew he was doing it for her benefit because if he wanted to, he could sit down beside her without her ever hearing sound. 

“You’re not going to get an F.” Channing walked lazily into the circle of firelight, his fingers in his damp hair, sweeping it back from his face. Lei nibble on her marshmallow and admired the stretch of rippling muscles on his body. The boy moved with a confidence and awareness that made him beautiful to watch. It helped that he was beautifully formed, not even an ounce of excess flesh on his body. Not for the first time, Lei thought of using him in her art class as a nude model, he would be scandalous by the idea but—

Channing picked up a towel and turned, aiming a beatific smile that brightened his dark eyes. It was a smile that on somebody else’s face she would instantly distrust. But with Channing, what you see is what you get…except for the werewolf thing. “You’ve memorized that formula weeks ago. You just want to guilt us into doing you another favor.” 

She shrugged and hid her smile in a cup of hot cocoa from her thermos but a hand stole it from her hand. “Hey.”

Colin did a two-step to avoid her hands, gulped the chocolate and grinned at her. “We know all your evil ways, Lei.” He tossed her the cup seconds before catching the towel his twin threw at him. She was constantly amazed at how much they look like each other but could be so different. Rather than Channing’s confidence, Colin walked with a swagger and an arrogance that usually grated on other people’s nerves. Channing was well-liked even by the most difficult person but Colin was an acquired taste; they have to look through the mischievous dark eyes, the bravado and the crooked grin. Channing was a nurturer; Colin was usually brisk and rude. Channing looked at everybody with equal interest while Colin only looked at the people who interest him. 

Lei tried to slap their hands away from her marshmallows but failed and could only watch woefully as they—ha ha—wolf it down. 

She brightened when Channing shoved a thermos into her chilled hands and smelled chicken soup. He also opened a tin foil of still warm bread and handed her the biggest piece. Colin pulled a bright, wool throw out from his bag, brandished it about like it was a magician’s cape—making her grin—then wrapped it around her, his hands rubbing her arms. 

They did all of this without ceremony, without awkwardness, without expectation of gratitude. Through all their differences, both of them shared a quality that she really admired; both are fiercely loyal and once they love you, they’ll shower you with it. 

Lei watched with amusement as, like the seventeen year old boys they were—which made them five year olds in girl years—they started a towel war that she knew would soon draw blood if she didn’t stop it.

In the firelight, Lei saw a splatter of some sort of thick, dark liquid dripping on Channing's chin. The years she spent around them told her what it was without even asking. "You got a little something on your chin."

Channing lifted a hand, wiped blood from his skin and without even blinking, licked it. Lei thought about grimacing but she didn't really feel that odd anymore about watching her best friends lick blood off their own skin. After seeing them turn into wolves, other things seem to pale in comparison. But then again, she still gets confused over Colin's mindless hatred of clowns.

"Did I get it?" Channing asked, tilting his head so she could see his face.

She nodded. "So, what was the midnight snack?"

Colin grabbed a towel from his backpack and scrubbed his hair. "You don't want to know."

"Oh no, it's Bambi, isn't it? You guys ate Bambi."

Channing made a thinking sound. "Eh. It's not Bambi exactly--"

"No, don't tell me. I'm already half in mind to turn vegetarian."

Colin snorted. "Fat chance. You're as much a carnivore as we are. And toast me a marshmallow."

"Another thing that my mom blames on you by the way. And toast it yourself."

"God, that woman is just--"

"Careful. She's still my mother."

"We'll adopt you. You're already a part of the family anyway."

Colin hooked a towel around his neck and grinned. "Mom would love that. She always wanted a girl."

Channing ambled to his backpack, his bare feet moving soundlessly on the ground. "Or, you know, you could always marry Kai. You've always wanted to do that."

She sent them a bland look. "I was seven. And stupid."

"I resent that," said a voice that drifted from the darkness surrounding them.

Lei smirked."Which part? That I don't want to marry you or that I’d have to be stupid to even want to?"

"Both." Cailean, or Kai as Lei called him—her pet name for him since she couldn’t figure out how to say his name when they were first introduced—appeared in the circle, all lean grace and amused smile. He shared the same physical characteristic with his older brothers; dark hair, dark eyes, brown skin. His build was more slender than his brothers, his muscles still developing. He was also taller, much to his brothers’ dismay. 

Kai was quieter than the twins but compared to his two brothers who have more breadth and size, it’s Kai, with his solemn eyes and serious smile that people looked at with wary eyes. Even when they were little, the neighborhood bully knew not to mess around when Kai was near. 

It’s not like he looked menacing or acted like he was the toughest guy around; Kai didn’t need to throw his weight around to intimidate people. There was just something about him that told people to be very careful around him. 

At first, she thought it was because Kai was a werewolf but although normal humans, without knowing why, were generally wary around werewolves, they were wary and tentative when it came to Kai. Teachers mentioned it as charisma, a force of personality, but she knew the correct words for it; Alpha. 

Lei didn’t really get what it was since Kai was Kai to her, but she could see its effect on other people; they get nervous, and itchy, and sweaty. And they babble. A lot. 

Six or sixty, nobody was safe. 

Channing threw a damp towel at her. "Give it up, Lorelei. You're pack. There's no way out."

She threw the towel back with a little more force than necessary at the invoking of her full first name. She hated the name and the mythology surrounding it; sirens? Really? She felt like it was a joke and the joke was on her. "That's nice. Now, will all of you put on some clothes already?"

Channing already had sweats on but turn to both his brothers with a laugh. "Please note that she only told us to do so after she looked her fill."

Colin grinned and did a little shimmy. His shadow moved over them like a big winged creature. "Have a change of heart, Lei?"

Kai pulled on boxers and wiggled his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes before giving in to a smirk. "Hey, lookin' ain't buyin'."

Copyright © 2012 by D.F. Jules

Go to Chapter 2